It all goes back to Annie

A little while ago, the radio in my car stopped working. It is an issue that is probably fixable, we just have not gotten around to addressing it. Although the lack of music is sometimes frustrating, I have come to appreciate the silence of my commute as one (I guess two, technically) of the most reflective times of my day.

Sometimes I create my own music by singing. This is either to pass the time or because it is the closest thing to screaming (which is often what I feel like doing at the end of the day). And sometimes I just think. This evening's drive was a little bit of both.

I wish I could tell you why "Tomorrow" from Annie popped into my head tonight. I'm sure there was some thought process that led up to it, but at the moment, I couldn't tell you. For those of you who did not know me at the age of eight, those who did can attest to my obsession with the musical. I knew every word to every song and sang them night and day (just ask my sister). I had the VHS and cassette tapes of both the movie and broadway productions of the show.  For my first skating program, I wore a red dress and skated to "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile." In fifth grade I was in a community theater production and played one of the orphans.

On a separate note, some years ago, I discerned that I wanted to be a foster parent and/or adopt, in addition to having my own biological children. This was partly inspired by the book "A Child Called It" that I read for a psychology project in high school, but outside of that, this desire of mine goes without logical explanation. I am not adopted. I do not have any friends or family members who are adopted. I have never been close to someone who is an orphan or a foster parent. So where did this come from?

As I belted out "when you're stuck in a day that's grey and lonely..." I stopped and thought to myself "Of course I want to adopt. It is because of Annie". This may seem like a trivial connection or a coincidence, but I don't think it is. Because as I continued driving, it all began to make sense- not only why I wanted to adopt, but also why I feel called to service work. Annie introduced me to the struggles of the marginalized of our society, their mistreatment, their hopes, their humanity. I saw the injustices imposed on the vulnerable (Ms. Hannigan), as well as the individual's strength to persevere (Annie) and the ability of those in a place of privilege to make a difference (Daddy Warbucks).

There were many people who were surprised (and a few that were even upset) by my choice to "abandon" my musical training and spend a year with Americorps. What I figured out today is that I am not stepping away from music at all, but moving forward on the path that it set me. Annie introduced me to social injustice and made me want to do something about it. The music inspired me to serve.

We need your help!

Congress is proposing a bill to cut all funding for programs like Americorps, Teach for America, Habitat for Humanity and City Year. These programs are indescribably beneficial for people like me who want to devote a year (or a lifetime) to service, but they are even more important to those they serve- the under privileged of our country. Without these programs, countless people will go without housing, food, education, you name it. In addition, the non-profits who work in conjunction with organizations like Americorps will likely suffer greatly as a result of the loss of funding. Please take a moment out of your day to sign the petition and call your legislator.


http://www.americorpsalums.org/?page=Act4AmeriCorps


 http://www.saveservice.org/

Thank you so much!

Caitlin

We're Famous

This week, an article was published in Baltimore's Catholic Review on our program.

http://www.catholicreview.org/subpages/storyworldnew-new.aspx?action=9538

Simplify Simplify Simplify

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, this was one of the themes of our winter retreat. We talked about ways we have begun to live more simply this year and what we can do and/or take on throughout the rest of the year to continue that journey.

I began to learn about living simply when I first traveled to West Virginia to work on home repair projects with Nazareth Farm in my freshman year of college. Over the course of the following years, I reexamined my spending habits and use of resources, from asking myself the question of: "Do I really need this item of clothing?" to, more recently, reducing my meat consumption.

As a Christian woman, I feel called to simple living for a number of reasons. First and foremost because, as human beings, we are stewards of God's creation. It is our responsibility to ensure that our earth will be able to provide for our children and our children's children. Secondly, in my studies of social justice and working with the poor, I have learned that each individual's consumption habits have a direct effect on other people, especially the world's most vulnerable populations.

So, needless to say the more informed I become about issues of social injustice, the more urgently I feel a need to change things in my day to day life that will allow me to tread a little more lightly on the planet. That being said, I have quite a ways to go and there are many challenges associated with such a life style change. An intelligent friend once reminded me, after reading a book about energy consumption around the world, that in order to not leave any ecological foot print whatsoever, you would have to actually... not exist.

But one of the readings that Allison brought along helped me to think about living simply in another way. True simplicity is internal. One can have many things but live simply, and one can have very few things and not live simply. Truly living simply is more than just material possessions, it is about possessing a simple heart. Being simple in our relationships, our interactions and how we spend our time.  In that respect, I feel that I have come a long way this year.

Any of my friends from college could tell you that I ran on automatic "go" mode, constantly feeling like I needed to be doing something and feeling guilty when I was not. Even if I was sitting still, my mind was never in one place. Therefore, I rarely felt truly present in the moment I was in.

I observed today as I came home from work that I dropped my purse, keys and coat in the corner of my room that I always do and with that action, I mentally said "goodbye" to Sarah's House and "hello" to my own house and community. I changed out of my work clothes into sweats and checked my gmail account (which is not accessible at work), and then went upstairs to unpack my lunch box and ask my roommates how their days were.

It is difficult to describe the exact sensations of this course of events only that I felt consciously aware of how much I have learned to simplify my lifestyle. I find that in group conversations I actually (believe it or not) talk less because I am more focused on what the speaker is saying than what I want to say next. Today, at work, while waiting for a client to complete a job interview, I sat in the car and literally did nothing. (I repeat that I was transporting a client, which is in my job description, so it is okay) But I was not thinking about what needed to be done at the office, or social drama (not that I have any in my life anyway) or some complex life question. I just sat. It was glorious!

What I'm learning this year, and came to realize in the last couple of days is that- in the same way that living materially simple promotes ecologically sustainability, internal simplicity creates emotional sustainability.

Winter Retreat

So, I've realized that my blogs recently have been more summaries of chunks of time than true expressions of my experiences this year. (i.e. eight photos to convey the entire month of January, what?) Therefore (don't hold me to this but) I'm going to try to start blogging more often when I am in the moment and can more adequately describe my experience.

Exhibit A: Today, we went on our winter retreat. If you recall, in October we went on our fall retreat to a state park in WV for a weekend. Our winter retreat was only a day long, but very productive and a nice get away. While we could have just sat in our living room, we decided it would be a good idea to have a change of scenery. So we traveled about a half hour outside the city to Sister Joan Marie's house. Sister Joan Marie is a member of the Benedictine order and the parish social minister for Catholic Charities of Baltimore. The order owns three houses on a culdesac in Timonium. They live in two of the houses and rent out the third for retreats- which is where we were today.

Similar to our fall retreat, we had sessions on community, service and spirituality under the themes of simplicity and listening. We reflected on the challenges and joys of our individual work places and living in community and of course discussed the necessary household items while we had everyone together.

On a side note, I cut my finger with a bread knife and came the closest I ever had to passing out. Mind you, this was a very very small cut that barely bled, but while I sat there with my head between my knees, I thought to myself- when did I become a wuss?

Moving on, I went for a run today? I know, I still can't quite believe it. And it wasn't so much running as spurts of jogging broken up by walking for a total of um.... a quarter of a mile. Several days ago, my roommate Bethany announced to the rest of us that we would all be running a 5K in the spring. So after I made several excuses, Bethany and Kelly managed to convince me to go with them after we returned from the retreat. I will certainly keep you filled in on the progress of our training. Anything will be better than me "running" the Fourth of July road race cold turkey in high school.

January Joys

And now I present photographic account of the month of January:

The PServers and I visited the Visionary Art Museum...

Aaron and I hung out with with my friend Amal who was auditioning at the University of Maryland...

Went to a family reunion at Ocean City...

And now we are very excited for the returns of...

and...

If you don't watch these shows, you should. Especially Raising Hope. 

More to come soon :-)

Love,

Caitlin